True but thats because hes a fetus.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Randomize