Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
