i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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