Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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