I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
