Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
