quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
