did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
