Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
