Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we made out on top of his cat.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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