I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
