Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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