Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
