Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
