I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
