We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
im on a boat
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