Don't you send me to vm
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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