smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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