I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
