I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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