guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
