I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize