after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
