I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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