I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize