Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
