woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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