tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize