I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
