if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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