I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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