take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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