Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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