how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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