I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
