I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize