She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
