What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
