but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
