you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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