ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
