whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
