Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sext me about skeletons
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
