You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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