Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
