Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
