i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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