AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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