That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
