thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
