worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize