RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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