If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize