Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
