Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
