there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
