I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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