she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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