that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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