maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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