she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
