and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
